No Money? Don't be worry!

YO HELLO FOLKS!

Before I start to finish this post, and before you start to read this post, sort of announcement: this post is in English. Like English English. Not that English, but the English English...

So, yes.

English.

Anyhell,

If you really wanna know how am I right now, well... I'm now on my last semester of my 2nd year as an engineering college bloke. Just starting my classes and yet they already drive me crazy, drag to hell mouth and smear some cat-shit all over my mouth. And of course all those are metaphorically, you uncivilized citizens.

On this very priceless, super, mega post, this time I will write some useful stuff. If you have read my blog frequently, it might not surprised you if I always write some good educational stuff, some inspirational topic and heart-touching post. Just like this one.

Ummm... I think I have a different definition of 'some-good-educational-stuff-inspirational-topic-and-heart-touching' post with the common human being.

So, just as what I have promised to you all, now's topic is about financial.

Yes. Money.

I just going to assume that all of you, homeless readers, are at the same age as me and live independently but not working yet. I can say that you are all students or just a freelancers. Money is the basic substance we need to continue our live. You wanna eat? You need money. You wanna go fit? You need money to buy work-out shoes or gym membership. You wanna get cured? You need money to pay your goddamn doctor. You wanna drop your crap-loads? You need money to pay to enter toilet at some public places. You wanna spread your cement to somebody's face? Believe it or not, you need money to pay a hooker. Hookers if you wanna have some orgy.

Uh. Well... *poker face.

But don't worry, all my homeless readers! I have the solutions!

If politicians create problems, me as engineer (student) is fated to solve problems. Even for this kind of issue, I have solved it! All solutions I will offer are practical and easy to apply. And yes, you my pedophile readers, I will share it to you FOR FREE! ONLY I THIS EXCLUSIVE PREMIUM BLOG! PRAISE THE GOD FOR THIS!

here's the line for adit's blog right? (source)

SO, here we go folks. Below are 'ADIT ULTIMATE GOLDEN WAYS TO EARN MONEY'.

1. Work

In engineering, work is defined as force times distance. Basically it shows that work will be generated if you give some force onto some object and movement will show up. These factors are needed to be met. It won't happen anything otherwise. Still in the same analogy, we take YOU as the example. Let's say you want to defecate. The toilet bowl is 10 meters away from you. But since your ass is bigger than your brain, so you're not going to that toilet bowl. Instead, you defecate on where you stand right now. Result: your feces are swamping your floor.

your face when you shit on where you stand (source)

It's just the same way to earn money. You need to put force and produce some movements. However, this section divided into 2 parts: civilized job and uncivilized job. The example of civilized jobs are as a teacher, singer, waitress, etc etc. Uncivilized job? All jobs that relate to tentacle porn, 2-girls-1-cup, necrophilia, coprophilia and other stuff such as in this list (beware of the disturbing pictures), are uncivilized. Seriously.

2. Ask

Another way to get money is by asking other. It could be your mom, your dad, your grandparents, your sisters, your brothers, your uncles, your aunties, your cousins, your nephews, your nieces, your in-laws, your friends, your neighbors, your teachers, your school's security, your gardener, your maid, your robber, your rapist, your pet, your plumber... ANYBODY! Just ask for the amount of desired money. Ask. Ask. Ask.

Caution: the chance of getting punch on your face is higher. Prepare a first aid kit.

uuuhhh gimme money phweeaseee... *cuteface (source)

3. Borrow

This is the common way that people usually do to get their money. Borrow. It is usually easier and faster since the borrowed-person usually feels safer, he knows that you borrow his money. It means you will give it back to him. You can borrow money from people like I have mentioned above, or to a bank and some loan shark. If you borrow money from bank, you need some surety or warranty. Usually your vehicle's license. You cannot use your penis as your surety. They won't interested. While in loan shark, obviously they gonna give you huge interest for you to pay back. It means that after you do the loan, you need to have extra work to pay the interest. So, it means that you need to prepares all your body holes for every night's orgies. Well... *poker face.

4. Trade

Trade is another way to get some money. It's practically easy! Just bring any stuff to pawnshop, trade it, and voila! You get your money! Things needed to be considered, not all stuff they are going to accept to be traded. Stuff like used underpants, coke cans, boogers, loads of pubic hair, corpse of bird, Rebecca Black's exclusive Blu-Ray disc, Justin Bieber poster and CD are will not accepted on pawnshop. If you do that, they probably just going to happily shoot you with shotgun so that they can continue their business.

...and you can rest in peace.

because he makes this innocent girl turned to stupid bitch (source)

5. Lottery

This way is not easy to deal with. You need like a fuck-loads of lucky to earn money from lottery. I don't recommend this way to you, all my homeless people. It's kinda addictive too. Just like smelling your own fart. It smells like shit, but you still want to smell it. Until it finishes. Yes. Until it completely disappears...

yes... just admit it...

6. The Power of Shaman

Shaman, or witch, wizard, is on this list. Believe it or not, in some of Indonesia cultures still have this way to get money easily. But it always comes with some weird requirements such as: blood of black rooster, some sacred knifes and other instruments, weird spells, and even a corpse (yes, i heard some cases people dig up a grave just to take the corpse for this purpose). However, if you wanna go through this way, just get ready to be turned into monkeys or pigs (and yes, again, I heard some cases those people turned into monkey and pig due to their failure completing the task given by the shaman).

source

Enjoy your money, folks!